End of love .. 20 -28Feb

Madhu

Neither, can I be threatened nor break down.  I have to set my destiny.  The word security brought anger out of me and retorted ‘security is a sign of your weakness’.

RK ‘Won’t you Quit?’.

I said’ I am here to take life under my control. I have 30 days assignment and I will complete it’.

I walked off in a huff, making it clear to him that I am independent.

When I am about to leave for work, Ma & Didu gave me new set of hair dryer and other implements for my stylist job. I am happy but wondered how they could they pool money.

I was at the set. Heroine asked me to style her hair and I set her hair.  RK is at his worst. He chided me for my styling and made me style Heroine repeatedly. He was so nasty that he pushed hair dryer out my hand only to break it. It is present gift from Didu. At last, he allows the shooting to proceed to my relief.

I am about to begin lunch after serving Bittuji.   Heroine asked to me to attend RK in his vanity. I agree reluctantly.

I am at RK’s Vanity. RK asks me to give head massage.  I go out to fetch oil. I spill oil on the steps of vanity. I am emotional while massaging RK. RK asks for back massage.  I can’t hide my disgust at the thought of back massage.  RK relents; I suppose he recollects earlier instances.

As I get out of vanity, slipped and fell on my ankle. I scream in pain.  I am out of pain to notice that RK is massaging in feet.    He lifts me and puts me in a chair.

Ma notices my sprain and asks me take rest. 

Ma “You can’t work with RK anymore’.

I say ‘ I can’t run away. He is all round in radio, cutouts, … I won’t shut myself into a corner. I will face world.’

Ma is angry and left the room. Ma relented to let me choose my course.

The song sequence shooting is on. RK and Heroine are dancing to the tune.  During break, RK tricked me to send away heroine  ,and trapped me play dupe in his song sequence.

I am not comfortable with shooting. I am wearing a gown. As I walk to the spot, everyone is applauding my beauty, but I am not happy to be in spot light. It goes against my nature. I am compelled. I am next to RK. RK is lifting my stole. I am in tears. RK noticed it and calls off the shoot.

At makeup room, I am sobbing. This is not tolerable. I am not to be played like a bunny.  Power is off and I find RK next to me, switches on his lighter.

RK ‘No more darkness’

I say ‘I fear to see what is in light’. I have blown off the flame.  RK is holding me and persuading me not to move as I will be hurt. In the tussle, he tore my kurta at the shoulder. I hate this nonsense. The man, who drove me out of his life in a day without remorse, has no right to take care of me. I slapped him.

RK ‘How dare you?’.

I said, ‘How will you avenge this slap?. You can settle your scores by destroying me totally’. In a fit of anger, I have thrown away my dupatta.

 He picks up dupatta and covers me.  He drags me out of the set and locks the door behind.

I am recollecting…  RK covering me with stole in front of camera and off the camera.  RK holding my foot and gently massaging it, as I am coming out of pain. How will I continue live like this in the shadow of memories?  Pleasant moments from past are turning into pain in the present. 

I am back in studio next day.  I started having lunch.  Assistant Director informs me to do hairstyle for an actress.  I closed Tiffin and find actress talking to RK.  As I approach her I realize it is Deepali.  We move to dressing room. Deepali is her normal self.

Deepali  ‘ What happened last night?’  I  kept mum.

Deepali  ‘ Something special must have happened between you.  Or nothing happened. There is nothing in you.  RK requested me and that is why I am here.  Your false pheras marriage will not come in my relation between me and RK. You tug hair properly. It is hurting. In a race between Horses and Donkeys, Horses win.’

I retorted ‘Horses are loved for the success and they are shot the moment they lose. There is nothing  special  to find in you  despite my hard search’

The shoot starts. Deepali is dancing to the tune ‘Mushkan  Jhooti  hai’.  Deepali is clinging to RK. She is in seductive. She is touching RK.  RK is looking at me and I looked away.

The shoot ends with applause from Director of Deepali.  As I walk through the sets Deepali says ‘ In the end horse wins’

I tell her ‘You are being used by RK. RK is not interested , He has set you up to make me jealous. Better you realize it.’ I walk out off the set.

At chawl as I climb the stairs I am lost in thoughts.  What am I doing?  Didi interrupts  and says

‘Like is like a film. Every Friday a new film is released.  Life changes always. What will you if RK comes back ‘

I say, ‘I hate RK. I am broken and shattered.  I won’t be the same. Even if RK asks for remorse I can’t trust him again. He may shatter me again’.

RK

 Shooting is about to start.  Dips calls for makeup. I find a new girl. Madhu has lost the game.  I am out and Bittuji is on phone.  I know it is to Ma. I snatch the phone and say ‘Teri himmatwali Madhubala Kam pe nahi ayee’.

Deepali snatches a chair and is falling on me. I told her to keep away till action starts.  I say ‘ I am tired of telling you get out’. Luckily Bittuji asks her to go to  vanity for makeup. She relents. What a relief?

A courier delivers a parcel and I am curious. It has a get well card. I opened it and it is a first aid Kit. There is a note on every item. It is from Madhu.

One Note ‘Jab bahut der tak chaale sochte huye  sir dard ho jaye ye Sir dard ke goli’ and on.

There is Madhu Himmatwali. I knew a spat will follow.  I wonder whether  I am happy to see Madhu back.

I say ‘Madhubala is back in Studio. Aha’.

Madhu ‘Sorry, I have to buy some stuff for a sick person’.

I say ‘You did a brave thing by sending through third person’

Madhu ‘You sweat  to look at me. In person you wouldn’t take it’. Our spat goes on.

Madhu

I am with heroine styling her hair. Deepali is next to me.

Deepali yapping with heroine ‘She should look perfect. Every shot matters. Nails, clothes, Jewels, hair. One should use branded products.  Hair stylist should be trendy and not chawlwali. Your image matters. ’.

I noticed Sikky is in with a media guy. He hugs Deepali and asks media guy to take a snap and publish it with a headline ‘Sikky Cajoles Dippy’

The heroine says that Deepali’s Manager is interesting and wants to hire him.

The shoot is on. It is Karwachauth.  Heroine is doing pooja via channi. RK yells cut.

RK says ‘You have to look moon not me.’ While instructing her he looks at me through the channi. Does RK remember the puja and does he value it?

I am recollecting Nakli Karwachauth scene.  What has happened to those wonderful moments?  They are a mixture  of pain and pleasure. What about RK? How is he feeling?

Director calls cut and says that schedule here is over.  I don’t know whether I can join next schedule which is outdoor.

RK announces a party for the unit. He comes to me and insists me to join. He taunts and calls me a mama’s baby who goes home early.  I decided to stay back and hand over my bag to spot dada.

The party is on. Members are having soft drinks and booze.  My saheli brings me a coke. I start sipping it. I find the taste odd but decide to take it as it is bottled coke.  I notice Deepali and RK are having booze. I am feeling odd. My friends are going for dinner. I excuse myself saying not hungry.  I am feeling dizzy. I recollect the dark night at studio.

RK is looking at me. I am in tears as I am not able to bear dizziness.   I moved to a room . Let me wash my face with a spray.  RK is calling me on mobile. I won’t take the call.

RK is in front of me. He looks into my face and says ‘You took at least half a bottle’

He teases me ‘How can you drink and that too half a bottle?’

I am drowsy but tell him ‘Who are you? How do you know how much can I drink? Who are you to shout at me like that?’